I am the mother of 2 beautiful kids. Victor Jr is my youngest, he's 8. Jessica is my oldest, she's 14. The story begins when Jessica was 6 years old. She was a very happy child with big dreams. She was already in first grade and learning to read when our lives were tumbled upside down. Through a mosquito bite, she contracted a viral encephalitis which developed into a seizure disorder. She was having as many as 40 seizures in one hour! The doctors believed she wouldn't make it. Through the mercy of God, she did. She was now a special needs child, depending on me for all of her basic needs. In the very beginning of her illness, I fell into a deep depression that lasted for years. I kept asking 'Why'. I blamed God. I grew very angry with him. My depression took on a life of its own, and I began to spiral downward. Friends and family kept telling me that I needed God in my life, but I refused, thinking he had forsaken me and my family.
Well, just a couple of months ago, I was at my wits end. I was tired of always being stuck at home with a sick child. I was sick of watching life pass me by and knowing my life would never be 'normal' again. I had had it, and even considered the coward's way out of this situation. I yelled at God and asked him why had He allowed this to happen, why was He making my life such a sad sight to see. I wanted something more, something to look forward to. And as I sat there at my kitchen counter, looking at Jessica and feeling sorry for her and for myself, God spoke to me. Not that I actually heard Morgan Freeman's voice doing the voice-over or anything crazy like that. I heard God deep within me, telling me He had a purpose for me and for Jessica, that I only had to open the door and let him in to receive His blessings. Somehow, I felt a little better and to distract myself, I went online to Facebook. I noticed a close friend of mine had tried a new local church and had liked it, and something moved me to try this new church.
The next weekend, my family and I visited this new church, and we were washed over with the presence of the Lord. While at the service, God again whispered to my heart, telling me 'Here is where you belong, worshipping me and thanking me for all the good that is to come." And since that day, my life has turned around for the better. I have become an active member of this church (Relevant Church Miami) and pray daily through devotionals and Bible study. I have even taken on a ministry of sorts by forming a group on Facebook called the same as this page (Christian Moms Reflections). The more involved I get with Jesus, the more involved He is with me. I face life with a new hope that I didn't have before. And even if things get tough, I know God will be there to help me through it all. I no longer feel lonely. I am a child of Christ.
This morning, God spoke to my heart again. He said I will lead a sermon someday as I testify to His glorious wonders. Funny, because I would have never thought I would ever lead a sermon, but if God says I will, His will be done. So someday you shall see me leading and testifying, and now I look forward to that.
It DOES get better with Christ. He lifts you up, even carries you when you need it. All you have to do is open the door of your heart and let Him in. Give your life fully to Him and He will rain blessings down upon you. Open your eyes and look around, He is already blessing you.
God blesses the people who patiently endure testing. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has provided to those who love him. (James 1:12)
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